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Welcome back to another episode of #AskIris Explosion!

A new sex column for Orange Krush Girls.

I’m Iris, a sex educator, burlesque performer, nerd and pervert, and I’m here to help you with all your dirty sex and dating questions.

Has everyone been enjoying their sweaty, sweaty summertime sex?

Hi Iris- what are the best resources for a single cis woman to explore BDSM as a submissive? FetLife is full of creepy old dudes obviously preying on inexperienced and OKCupid is full of dudes looking for an easy lay. I’m interested in exploring this side of my sexuality, but I haven’t found any truly safe partners or outlets. My one friend recommended camming. Thoughts?

One of the first things you can try is looking up a local munch. A munch is an irl gathering of kinksters in a casual, public setting like a diner. It’s a great way to just get to meet folks in a non-charged environment. Depending on your age, try and find some TNG (“The Next Generation”) groups, which have an age bracket of 18-35, depending on the group, which will significantly cut down on the “creepy old dom dude” factor. Poking around on Fetlife can at least help you find what’s going on in your local scene so you can get out and meet potential play partners.
As far as camming goes, it can be a great way to get some easy play, but it does come with its own set of risk factors, so be careful about who you give your personal information to, and take into account that once you’re naked on the internet, that shit can stick.

I have a sex toy advice question: Are you aware of any products that people with long sharp fingernails can wear over individual fingers to kind of smooth away the point? So, something more substantial than a finger condom, but that can be put on each finger individually so that the wearer can easily use more or fewer fingers.

Easy peasy: get a latex glove and put cotton balls in the fingertips. Boom. Femmesex.

I am one of two bridesmaids at a dear friend’s wedding. I know and adore both the bride and groom. They are first generation immigrants with very conservative families. I recently received my save-the-date for the wedding, but my girlfriend was not included. Other significant others (also unmarried) have been invited. My girlfriend and I are very hurt. Should I decline? Or go alone? Should I wait for the formal invitation?

That’s a really horrible situation, and your friend is a horrible person. If it were me, I would do the passive-aggressive thing and send them a message that says “Oh, do you need the name of my plus one?” and put them on the spot. If you’re a fucking bridesmaid, you are entitled to the same treatment as any other guest. If you get pushback, tell them you’re not going to be a bridesmaid at a wedding where you are clearly not valued as a friend. Don’t go alone. If your girlfriend isn’t welcome, they can go fuck themselves.

Ask me your dirty questions!

See you next time, lovers and perverts!

About the Author

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